PitaPata Dog tickers

PitaPata Dog tickers

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Things I Have Learned

This is me the day I came home with mom and dad. Ya, I know, I'm pretty darn cute. I was pretty naive too. Heck I was nearly brand new, and didn't have a clue about what I was supposed to do. I found out...I had to behave. I didn't even know what behave meant, I finally figured out that being a Good Dog, meant I was behaving. Being a Bad Dog meant..I was not...behaving. I have learned a lot over the past two years...I have learned how to be  Good Dog!

Here's a list of some things I have to remember to be a Good Dog

1. I will not eat the cat poop that I find in the yard
2. I will not roll on the cat poop I find in the yard
3. Nor will I roll on dead birds, mice, squirrels or any other dead thing, just because I like the way they smell
4. If I have tummy trouble and upchuck, I will not re-eat the contents of my stomach, that is now on the living room carpet
5. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up
6. I will not throw up in the car
7. The sofa is not a face towel
8. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch
12. Nor will I kiss mom or dad's face after doing so
13. I will not play tug-of-war with Mom's underwear when she's on the toilet
14. Sticking my nose into some one's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'
15 The lizard is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing
16. I will not roll my toys under the fridge
17. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff
18. I must not pee on the big tree with lights on it, that is set up in the living room once a year
19. I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.
20. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
21. My head does not belong in the refrigerator, dishwasher or trashcan.
22. I will not spend more than 5 minutes trying to find the "perfect" place to poop.
23. I will not bark at the giant invisible squirrel in the yard
24. I will not make Dad chase me around the yard in the rain when its time to go in
25. I will not chew holes in every sock I find lying around on the floor

I am sure there is a lot more to learn, but I am doing pretty good...when I remember!


You know who said...

You are such a GOOD dog Merfy.

mully said...

i try to be good, but all that lovely dead, smelly, icky stuff is just soooooooooo attractive! why cant humans just enjoy it with us? *woofers*

Miss Kodee said...

OMD we are soulmates! I dream, I live and I desire to chase squirrels all day long. And lil sis Becky,knows all about throwing up in the car too. Nice to meet you